As I sat down facing my blank Word document, I had a clear goal in mind: sharing what I’ve had experienced the week before, driving on Mexican roads.
Yet, the way to do so wasn’t as clear. Should I just write a blog article with itinerary and tips?
This quickly fell short of what I had lived.
I'd rented a car, planned my route, caught the bittersweet taste of freedom on my tongue, and ended up learning way more than how to drive in the mud.
So I’ve decided to let the vulnerability pour into these next lines. To open my heart to whoever might read this, and hope that you might feel as well the seasons of your own heart.
Because sometimes traveling is just that: get out, to get in.
And losing your diary at the most perfect moment.
With love,
Clem.
This article mixes photos and texts illustrating places I've visited and states of mind I've been in.
The complete itinerary and some tips are at the end of it.
San Luis Potosí
- trust -
San Luis Potosí, its churches, its pedestrian streets, its faded houses paint, its heartwarming smiles. It seems like an ordinary Mexican town from the outside. It’s so much more on the inside.
After spending time in the United States, where everything has a place and a function, the mess of Mexico felt like an alive beauty, a scream for spontaneity, a call to open up to life’s opportunities.
As with a lot of places, it’s often the people you meet that create the story. Two hours after arriving, I found myself on a yoga mat, on a rooftop, with three strangers who soon became like family.
Have you ever wondered what draw people together? Why your path crosses one of these unique individuals? Some call it fate, coincidence, but for me, it always feels like magic. How people with such different lives and cultures can be united at a precise moment in time, turning the place they are at into a home.
Of course, my suspicious always-wanting-to-be-better brain started wondering if I was enough, if I belonged, if I was meant to be there. Did they really like my company or did I just happen to be there with them, like the hammock hanging from the hostel’s wall?
To acknowledge these harsh thoughts was the first step.
The second one was trust.
Photo: @anna.trotamundos
What happens if you start to trust the love people have for you, without wondering if you’re worthy enough? Trust that they appreciate you, as you are, right at this moment?
Well, you feel accepted. And not just in their eyes.
You start to accept yourself.
As you are.
Where you are.
I hope next time you find yourself wondering whether you’re worthy of love, you’ll have the strength to trust. To let your heart be carried by the love from the ones around you, giving you nothing but this moment of peace and silence in your mind.
Guanajuato
- get vulnerable -
My driving journey started the next day. With a fellow traveler in the passenger seat, I expected to sing Bruno Mars for 3 hours, on our way to the beautiful town of Guanajuato.
Soon enough, the conversation got deeper than music tastes, and he started to ask accurate personal questions. My first reflex was to shy away, and give – as he put it – “a perfect Powerpoint answer, with the bullet points and all”.
I wanted to be in charge of what I expressed, in control of my story, of how I felt.
Truth is, I was just afraid of this other human being, tearing down my walls and having the ability to judge me.
Getting out of my comfort zone meant letting myself be asked the harsh questions.
And stop resisting vulnerability.
As Guanajuato fell asleep, we stood there, beer in hand, thinking about the past, the future, and the impact of choices.
All the choices you’ve made, the reactions you’ve had, the doors that got closed for you, by you, led you to this moment.
Right where you're supposed to be.
Maintiens ton cap.
There are a lot of ways to achieve your objectives, and it’s more than fine if you don’t see the path clearly, but always maintain your focus on your destination.
I explained my fears, my doubts, how it all gets into my way. I told him about past mistakes I've made, and how it was so easy for my mind to get consumed by regrets.
But he didn't judge me.
Being vulnerable simply makes me more human.
That night, dancing on the Black Eyed Peas in an empty bar felt liberating. Who cares?
If you’re able to let go, to allow yourself to be vulnerable, you’ll hit this sweet spot of dancing like nobody’s watching, and living your life like nobody’s judging.
Queretaro
- find silence in the busyness -
After the paradise bubble that was Guanajuato, the busyness of Queretaro on a Saturday hit me like a truck. Walking these streets filled with faces, colors, noises, wandering dogs, my body felt like inside out, trapped into a spinning wheel I had no control over.
I had to ground myself again.
Wherever you are, you can always reassure your frightened self by showing it some love.
I went for a manicure; I had amazing quesadillas; I drank a beer watching the sunset.
The next day, I sat on a bench and watched the world go.
I felt that I actually was nothing in this big moving machine that is life.
So what’s the point of worrying?
You’re part of something so much bigger than yourself.
Find silence in the busyness.
Take care of yourself.
La Sierra Gorda
- face your fears -
First, I made a quick stop in the city of Bernal, home of the 3rd biggest monolith in the world - “you know it’s like an iceberg, but underground!”. The town was gently waking up, getting ready to start the week.
“Oh you’re going to Xilitla? You have to stop at the Mirador de Cuatro Palos.”
Ok, if you say so, kind stranger walking his dog.
After driving for what seemed to be the most winding road ever, wondering what could possibly be after the next turn, I got off the main track to follow the Mirador’s direction. I realized that I was leaving my comfort zone at this precise moment, trusting the words of a stranger, unaware of what was at the end of the drive.
The first one welcoming me on this off track was fear. Seeing the dirt road ahead, disappearing into the jungle above, I doubted my decision instantly.
Truth moment: this is one of my recurrent nightmares. I find myself ascending this vertiginous road, so sharp that I might slide back down at any moment, and I’m desperately trying to make it to the top, without ever being successful.
Imagine living your nightmare in real life. On this two-way steep road where my little car barely fitted, the cliff on one side, the emptiness on the other, stepping as hard as I could on the accelerator, I thought I'd never made it. I screamed. It came from a place inside I didn’t even know existed. It was as if all the tiny Clémences inside me, waking up after this nightmare, joined voices to let all the fear out.
Reaching the mirador, my entire body was shaking. I could barely breathe, and being at 2.700m above sea level didn’t help.
But. I. Made. It.
Damn.
Fear kept on following me for a while: after parking my car, the path leading to the view point was filled with typical “muertos”.
Even if at first, these bloody cranes hanging from the trees scared the shit out of me, they soon made me wonder.
I wondered if some part of me, the one having this nightmare, had just died that day, and was now hanging in the trees amongst them.
Cascadas de Tamul
- keep going -
The next morning, it was pouring rain. The roads were dangerous, the fog was intense. With two other French girls, sitting in the car and watching the windshield wipers going back and forth, our motivation to find the waterfall was very low.
But we went anyway. We braved it all.
Don’t let weather, laziness, doubts get in your way.
Find that waterfall, reach that goal.
Keep going a little bit further, take just one step more.
The reward is always worth it.
Las Pozas
- reassure your inner child -
As I fell asleep that night, sharing a tipi, with this wonderful French psychotherapist - told you, everyone I met was meant to cross my path - she said: “I noticed that you're sleeping with a teddy bear. Well, good, allow yourself the time you need to reassure the little girl inside of you.”
That’s all she needed to say. Waking up and dealing with some problems related to my mom’s birthday, I realized I was being that child again: craving perfection in order to be worthy of love.
I went on with my day and wandered around Las Pozas, the mystical garden of Edward James. I felt like wandering my own mind. Without bothering nature, he created this magic place, of unfinished shapes, walls without any doors or windows, allowing my thoughts to become as wild as the jungle surrounding me.
I sat down in front of the Palacio and started writing. “Dear young Clémence.” I told her I acknowledged the anger, the fear, the doubts, the misunderstanding, and more than that, that she’d be so proud of what we’ve become. Ending my letter saying that I loved her and that it was all going to be ok, it was the last time I saw my diary.
“You know where your diary went right? It’s with your younger self now.”
It was time to let go, leave behind everything I've learned, during this week but also since I'd left Paris in August.
Know when to let go of the past.
Back to San Luis Potosí
- start again -
After dropping off the car, I called my mom, who just turned 50 years old that day. What is amazing, is that she is still learning and becoming a wiser person every year. You know what she told me?
"Choose life. Choose to trust every day that arises.
Let go of trying to control tomorrow, because it’s not entirely yours to decide."
When you get some space in your mind, some silence between your thoughts, then you have enough awareness to notice the little signs life is sending your way. The symbols, the words, the people.
And soon, you realize that you’ve been on the right path all along.
All you had to do,
was being patient with yourself.
"Ready or not
You and your soul will be introduced into the Jungle
You will never go back and every choice you've ever made now belongs to the past
So far it has been a long and winding road
But you're still miles and miles away from your final destination
All the blood, sweat and tears you shed
All the sacrifices you've made were premises of your own journey
Your psyche is now weaker than ever, but your mind was built never to fall apart
You will trust the time that has been given back to you
And without further ado
Welcome to the jungle."
8 days road trip itinerary
Day 1: San Luis Potosi - sleep at Sukha hostel
Day 2/3: Guanajuato
Day 4/5: Queretaro
Day 6: Bernal, Mirador de Cuatro Palos, Xilitla - sleep at Casa Caracol
(plan to spend a day in Bernal if you want to climb el Peña)
Day 7: Cascadas de Tamul (through Aquismon)
Day 8: Las Pozas, and back to San Luis Potosi
Total: 1200km
This itinerary is for experimented drivers, as you can drive up to 6 hours a day in the fog, the rain, and the roads leading to the Mirador and las Casacads are very muddy!
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